My Drug
by BoundaryOfLimitation
Summary: My half gloved hand reached out and held your cold pale hand. Our fingers laced together, I squeezed hard and you held onto me firmly. Although our faces didn't show it, both our hearts were sobbing. Took place before the war...Hope you enjoy


**Hi people...It's me again! This is a a short one for a celebration of the end of my finals exam...This is a sad one and I hope you guys like it. And oh, please excuse me for my lousy grammar.. Other then that, please enjoy...**

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From the beginning, we all knew that this day would come. Years and years of preparation. Years and years of training. The day had finally came, why were we so shocked?

There will be no light, if you'd never seen darkness. There will be no darkness if you'd never seen light. For centuries, the world had maintained this equilibrium. Together we all lived in harmony. But hearts of the dark, greedy ones started to rise slowly one by one, threads were weaved, threatening to tip every balance existed.

Gruesome creatures summoned from hell were born. Spilling blood of the innocents, ripping souls of the forsaken apart. The sun no longer shines as bright. God, did you turn your back to us?

Carefully, slowly, soldiers of salvation stood up on their feet side by side. For all these centuries they had been kept in dark, today, history will be made. Today, heroes will be born.

It was early in the morning; the news of the arrival of the Akuma reached my ears. It was big news, a suggestion for the bookman to start recording.

Everything was a chaos as everyone tried to do the last preparation. Oddly, everyone was calm and collected but I knew, I knew too well, what was hidden behind those assuring smile.

Weapons and confidence were carefully sorted. Each of them smiled at each other, I knew, in each and every heart they were wondering, if this is the last time.

In that dark corner, I stood leaning against the wall observing. Bookman approached me, eyes a deadly emptiness. Tousling my flaming red hair with my half gloved hand, I smiled cheerfully.

"Tomorrow, the war will begin." His voice was thick and rough. I nodded.

"Tomorrow, we all will fight as soldiers and also as bookmen, do not get yourself killed. Remember the reason of our existence."

I listened, letting the information sink slowly. Silently, I nodded again.

"I understand." I said softly. With another look, with another nod, he walked away.

"Good luck." I heard him called. A quick smiled was returned. As soon as the war starts, I will no longer Lavi.

That final evening, I went to see my one and only love. His icy sapphire blue eyes were more tense then usual, I smiled at him wearily.

"Yuu." I whispered his name and took him into my arms, melting his heart with my warmth. A futile attempt to get me off was performed yet his words were less harsh then usual. We both knew this just might be the last time.

Lovely face framed by perfect straight nose, long dark silky hair and fringe just below the brows. It never failed to make me wonder if he's the reincarnation of God's angel.

The smell of him had always been like a doze of paracetamol to me. It always eases this cold and painful heart of mine from the loneliness of years being alone.

"I don't want you to die." Words of stupidity and honesty escaped my mouth causing him to scoff.

"Did your brain die before you did?" was his annoyed answer. My head shook ever so slightly in disagreement.

"I'm serious." My face was grim. We were both covered in the veil of silence for a long time.

"This is a war." His voice was quiet and silent. Sirens started to wail in the distance before I could reply. Footsteps from the distance were heard as I sneaked my head out to see what the commotion was.

A familiar white haired boy dashed by my vision along with the crowds of finders and exorcist. My half gloved hand reached out and grabbed him.

"What's going on?"

"They are here, a whole day early." My little heart sank deep down my stomach. I let go of him, stormy grey eyes tried to assure my green emerald eye and took off running again.

"We have to go now." His cold hard voice said. His weapon was grabbed from the corner of his room.

"Make sure you keep yourself alive Yuu." I pushed him back into his room and kissed him on the lips ever so softly yet firmly, pouring all my love and emotion into him.

Those lips, yeah, those lovely lips, they were like a dose of morphine or cocaine to numb this huge wound on my soul so I won't feel that unbearable throbbing pain. The warmth made me need it almost all the time, I begin to depend more and more on it and before I knew it, I was **addicted** to it. Like a drug.

Just like the weather, life can change in just a blink of an eye. Again and again I was amazed by this power. Again and again I was tricked by this lousy game. Again and again, I want this foolish love to last forever.

Softly, lovely lips reply my kiss ever so lightly. My little heart clenched in my chest, making my throat hurts and tears well.

"Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

"Then why are these tears falling?" long cold fingers brushed them away from my cheeks.

"They are Lavi's."

"And you are?"

"Me." he knew. And he accepted. The Lavi had already gone as soon as the war begun.

"I love you." He said suddenly, his voice barely audible but trained ears of a bookman caught everything. I would have died of shocked from hearing those words from him but I know, right now, there isn't time to worry about pride anymore.

"Lavi loves you more." My voice cracked despite my grinning face.

"You as in you, not Lavi." A weird feeling of calmness washed through me. Suddenly I felt like I was ready to face anything.

"So stay alive, I'll make Lavi return after the war."

"I don't want him back if he's gone."

I nodded in acceptance.

"I only want you." He added so quietly, I almost didn't catch it. My eye shot up wide from those soft words. So soft that it actually hurts 'till the core of my heart.

I lifted my gaze from my boots to his lovely sapphire blue eyes. I saw nothing but sadness in those midnight sky color, my dear heart cracked like glass in my chest.

Reaching out a half-gloved hand, my fingers caress his pale soft cheek. Drawing him close to me, our lips brushed, turning it into a long hard kiss that represents all my love for him. Nothing more, nothing less.

"I love you." I whispered. "As in me and also as in Lavi."

With a nod of acceptance, with just another one last long kiss of understanding, we pulled away. Maybe someday, if we're lucky, we might meet again. Perhaps if we're even luckier, we might be lovers again the next life.

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Black and white coats were carefully buttoned. Weapons were bravely laid out. One by one soldiers of salvation stood tall and proud in lines, we were ready to fight.

Comrades patted each other on the shoulders. Lovers kissed for one final time. Friends hugged for one more time. Nobody said a word, nor did anybody cried. In each eyes of the soldiers held the same hard glassiness, we all knew too well we just might lost it all.

Words of encouragement and luck were whispered as black shadows started to paint the red dying sky black. The light was falling and darkness was crawling up fast. Against the setting sun we all stood unfazed, deep down our soul, pulse started to throb.

It was a miracle nobody decided to run away or break down. At least, not in front these approaching disgraceful creatures that languished in darkness for too long. In silence we all stood waiting for the moment, I found myself gritting my teeth.

Right beside me stood my angel. My half-gloved hand reached out to and held his cold pale hand. Fingers were laced together, I squeezed his hand hard. Cold fingers held onto mine firmly, although our face showed nothing, both our hearts were sobbing.

In the next five minutes, thousands of Akumas stood a hundred feet away. Time is up. Our hands broke free and reached for our own weapons. Innocence were activated, soldiers of salvation were ready to fight, and nothing is going to stop them.

Adrenaline started to pump viciously through my veins, angry and murderous instinct burned behind my emerald green eye. Beside me I knew he felt the same, so did every other soldier.

"Let's do this." Leenale took her brave first step towards the smirking face of death. She grinned at Allen with full of love in her eyes and nodded encouragingly.

"It's only the beginning." Allen followed right behind her, the same amount of love in his eyes stormy grey eyes just for her. From the corner of my eye I saw Komui stood not too far from us. His eyes held sadness and remorse and so did every other finder who does not have the ability to fight.

"Let's spill some blood." Generals encouraged following out other two comrades.

"I will not loose." Miranda was shaking really hard but the determination in her eyes was overwhelming. I saw her smile at Marie, though he couldn't see but I'm sure he heard her heart yelling out love to him.

"Eliade, I will join you soon." Krory mumbled.

One by one soldiers fall in steps towards the darkness in order to extinguish it. They are already heroes. I girded my hammer, Yuu girded his sword.

"I've done so many bad things in my life Yuu." I said grinning.

He smirked.

"So did I." I chuckled. We both started to walk towards the sea of Akumas, my boots suddenly felt very heavy.

Raising my hammer I slammed it on one of the Akuma, it shrieked in such painful voice, it shook my soul hard to the core. The ground was already soaked with blood and covered with death. Smell of blood and iron hung so deep in the air, it made my stomach churned.

Blood hit my cheek; with the back of my hand I wiped it away only to make the smear worst.

"This is interesting." I grinned in amusement and saw Yuu slicing the lousy enemies away, the tip of his hair was already dripping with blood, of whose, I don't know.

"Remember what Lavi said, don't die." I yelled to him under the sounds of explosion, cries and shouts.

"Che," he spat loudly back at me. "Lavi knew it's impossible."

I smiled starring at him lovingly and almost got myself killed for not paying attention.

"Watch out you idiot. Now is not the time to be space cadet." Yuu yelled at me blocking a bullet from hitting me.

"Well, looks like I'm not gonna live long." I said as drops of blood of someone else hit me, soaking my coat.

"Hmm," Yuu paused for a second to smirk at me.

"Then let's see who gets to hell first." I raised my hammer and slammed an Akuma to million pieces.

"Let the game begin Yuu-chan."

That was the last time I ever saw him. I continued to fight on, totally forgetting what bookman said about keeping myself alive. I guess I'll really be going to hell. An amused smile creep on my face and raised my hammer to hit an Akuma after another. For this war, we're definitely going to win.

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**I hope it's good...And sorry if you think it sucked...Leave a comment if you like and hoped you enjoyed it...**


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